Monday, October 3, 2022
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Pretty Hurts – We tested the new beauty-judging application so you don’t have to

You don’t need to have Instagram followers or your mom telling you how great you look.

Enter prettyscale.com. It’s a website/computer-generated self esteem crusher that measures your prettiness on a scale of 1 to 100. What is it doing? This is what the website claims to be able to do:

“PrettyScale measures facial beauty by measuring the size and position of various face features. The results are determined by the shape of the face, distance between lips and eyes, size of mouth, and symmetry. “

Symmetry. You got it. It’s a simple math equation that will tell how pretty you are. What could go wrong! Would you be interested to see your score? I was. Naturally, I tried it… admittedly in the most unnatural manner possible. I made sure my hair was perfectly straightened and shaved. I was then ready to upload my best selfie, 20 shots later, with soft lighting and careful editing. I was proud of myself when the site awarded me an 88%: “Pretty” certification. It would be great if the high school students who were familiar with my cystic acne and braces could see me now.

Surprise! The site doesn’t just tell you how beautiful or ugly you are, but it also lists the good and bad aspects about your face. For instance, I am lucky to have a normal forehead size.

Prettyscale.com, as with most things, will not only build you up but also tear you down. My computer started judging me suddenly for my “small chin”, and “bad face symmetry”. Oh. You won’t be able to miss your flaws because they are boldly highlighted. Pretty hurts. The anxiety set in immediately. I tried to upload more photos to correct my score. But the percentage kept getting worse. It’s almost like the website knew my plan.

Now that you’re having a hard time believing your small chin and wonky-eye, what do you do? Nothing. Because you were warned to be careful when uploading your photos.

Do not take the test if your self-esteem is low or you have confidence problems. “I had my chance to make a turn. Like in most situations I refused to go alone. I thought it would be fun to share this experience with my friends. I’m sorry, but that’s a terrible idea. Even if you are the best-looking friend in the world, they will not be satisfied with any score that you give them. They will blame you for their poor symmetry, 62% face, and lack of confidence.

In an effort to make everyone feel better, I decided to show that this website doesn’t really reflect how beautiful anyone is. Julia Roberts, 2017’s Most Beautiful Woman, was my choice to upload. It was her fifth year receiving the title. I decided she would enjoy playing guinea. An annual issue of the magazine lists their picks. It also contains “52 pages of beauty,” as you can see in the image below.

(Source: People Magazine)

Surprisingly she received a 74%, which is just a “good looking” ranking and not “pretty”. I am offended by her. She was also upset by her “face analysis “…”.

Evidently her nose is too long, she has a wide mouth, and her chin is too large. These are their words, not mine. On the bright side, her forehead is normal sized (she’s in great company). It should help her sleep at night. In the end, there are two options. Either I’m prettier than Julia Roberts, or it’s a joke. I’ll let you decide.

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